


Hanói

by ana_luisa1504



Series: Tales of Esperanza [2]
Category: La casa de papel | Money Heist (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, F/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:27:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27122483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ana_luisa1504/pseuds/ana_luisa1504
Summary: 10 years since her mother found the Professor in Palawan... Esperanza was in university for 8 years. She finally became the surgeon she wanted to be for so long, but... in the other side of the world, Anibal Cortés, as she knows him, gets captured by the police. Her mother and the man she now loves as a father reunite the gang to rescue him. She decides to pay them a visit at the monastery in Florence.A.K.A. how Esperanza got involved with the Bank of Spain and all the troubled emotions that come with it.
Relationships: Raquel Murillo/Professor | Sergio Marquina
Series: Tales of Esperanza [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1979677
Comments: 15
Kudos: 33





	1. Meeting the Family

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BlueTulips](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueTulips/gifts), [Corny_Cornflakes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Corny_Cornflakes/gifts).



> First, a shoutout to everyone that read the first part and is here with me again.
> 
> Second, the thank you's. To my sister, Sara, who didn't leave me alone in this journey. To the wonderful BlueTulips, for so good advice and inspiration. To Evendale and Corny_Cornflakes, for the uncouncious encoragement.  
> And, to you, the reader.
> 
> I do not own Money Heist nor its characters.

**_Raquel_ **

I could see everyone’s faces when Sergio took the cover off the pig. I just tried to ignore Marseille and Denver’s argument about opening the dead animal. The way Sergio was treated like everyone’s father surprised me, just like the way they obeyed him like well-behaved children.

A few minutes later, Marseille was back, and he wasn’t alone but, surprisingly, his company wasn’t Denver. Well, the word “company” isn’t the most correct one. One of his hands was holding the person’s behind their back, while the other was putting a knife in their throat. The person was wearing a motorbike helmet and was dressed in black and blue leather.

\- Professor, Lisboa, this girl says she knows you. Take your helmet off, slowly.

Nothing could have prepared me for who I saw. If it hadn’t been for Sergio, I would have fallen on the ground, although he was as shocked as me. I watched Esperanza take off her helmet and put it under her arm. A million questions formed in my brain, and I could feel them forming in Sergio’s too. _What is she doing here? How did she find us? Since when does she know how to ride a motorbike? When did she cut her hair? It’s just like Tokyo’s…_

\- _Papa_ , _mama_ , could you tell your friend here that he shouldn’t bother with such a friendly welcome? – I rolled my eyes. _She doesn’t stop being sarcastic even when someone’s holding a knife on her throat._

\- It’s ok, Marseille, you can put down the knife. – After he retreated, Palermo spoke.

\- Could someone explain us what the hell is happening here? – I put my hand in Sergio’s arm, silently telling him I could do it.

\- Guys, this is our daughter, Esperanza and, although I want to tell you why she’s here, I don’t know that either. – I turned to her. – What are you doing here?

\- I just want to tell you in person that I’m going to be inside the Bank of Spain. – I could feel Sergio’s muscles tensing beneath my hand before he said:

\- No.

\- I’m not asking for your permission.

\- Neither am I. You are not going. – With every word exchange, Sergio was becoming angrier.

\- I’m useful, you have no reason to tell me that I’m not going. – With that, he exploded.

\- YOU’RE NOT GOING BECAUSE YOU’RE MY DAUGHTER, AND YOU WILL DO AS I SAY. – I had never seen him like that. He literally shouted and everyone was looking at him with disbelief, but mostly her.

\- Really? Is that the best you have? No “I’m the leader of this operation.”? Do you know what you are doing? You are doing what you always judge people for doing. You are letting your emotions dictate your actions. – His expression didn’t change, but I knew that, if he could, he would have taken back his words.

\- I’m sorry I spoke to you that way, but you can’t change my mind. You are not going.

\- Can you at least let the team listen to me? I guess they should have a say in this. Do they know that, by refusing to let me in, you might be sentencing one of them to die?

\- Now I’m curious, Professor, - Nairobi spoke – what does she mean?

\- What my father is trying to hide from you is that, if that pig were alive, I would be able to take the bullet out of it without killing it in the process, unlike the rest of you. And with “pig”, I mean “any of you”. Do you know why? – she stopped for a few seconds. – Not only I studied for eight years to be able to do it right, and left university with the best grades in my class, but I’ve had experience.

\- You have experience with taking bullets out? Please, save us the lecture. You’re probably just a surgeon assistant, the ones who hand them the materials… - Palermo mocked. I knew my daughter’s pride wouldn’t let Palermo leave the situation unharmed. I was surprised, though, with the way she chose to channel her attack, because she highlighted the one similarity between them.

\- Your gayness is so absolute I smell it from here. Why don’t you shut your mouth and listen to those who are speaking? I’ll tell you this: you can’t count the number of bullets this team has shot, but I’m certain it’s smaller than the number of bullets I’ve taken out. I was in the Middle East for a year and a half, operating on battle-wounded men, and not always with the best conditions. I bet you have no idea what it is to have to amputate a leg when the hospital’s supplies run out of morphine. I didn’t understand a word, but I’m sure he was begging me to let him die. I still have nightmares with that man’s screams, so don’t you dare to say I’m a surgeon’s assistant.

Unwilling to admit defeat, Palermo said, pointing at her wedding ring:

\- I pity the man that married you. – Before she could answer, it was Tokyo’s turn to say something.

\- Is this girl married? She’s barely as old as Rio, how is it possible?

\- Well, _señhorita_ , some people find the love of their lives at forty, like my parents. I found mine when I was 15, it happens. – Palermo hit again:

\- Next time bring him with you, I’d like to give him my condolences.

\- I won’t. Luna is incredibly happy in the Philippines; she doesn’t want to leave.

Esperanza was clearly enjoying the silence that settled. I didn’t let her enjoy it for long.

\- We’re veering away. I agree with the Professor, you are not going, and there’s nothing you can say or do that will change our minds.

I knew the look I saw on my daughter’s face. It meant she was prepared to keep the argument going. I was right, once again.

\- You know, I went through your plans. They’re brilliant, and this comes from a person who doesn’t understand a thing about robberies, but there’s one thing I understand. The closest thing to a doctor you’ll have there is the Pakistani doctor, who will be thousands of kilometres away. Admit it, you need me.

She had won, and she knew it. I decided to play a different card. I pinned my hair up with a pencil and, for the first time in years, I summoned Inspector Murillo. It was the only thing I could do. If my authority as a mother meant nothing, I was going to use my negotiation skills, appealing to emotions.

\- If you were a parent, you wouldn’t want your child to do something like what you’re doing now.

\- Well, I don’t have children. And for the record, I’m not doing this as your daughter, as the rebellious girl who wants to defy her parents. I’m doing this as a doctor, who swore an oath. It’s not my license that’s at stake; it’s my integrity as a person. If one of you gets shot inside that bank, and dies because of it, I’ll never be able to sleep again because I would have been able to do something about it, so I’ll be damned if I don’t! – There was a pause.

\- I understand it’s your duty, but I’m not ordering you, I’m asking you, _begging_ you, not as the leader of this operation but, as your father, please, don’t go. – Sergio’s voice was hoarse because of restraining tears.

\- I’m sorry, _papa_ , but I can’t, you know I can’t. I just can’t stand still and do nothing.

I chose my words carefully before speaking.

\- If we can’t make you change your mind, you are going on our terms. You will be there as a hostage, and you will leave as a hostage. Only under extreme circumstances your cover will be exposed. You will only leave the group of hostages if someone gets hurt. Did I make myself clear?

\- Perfectly, but you didn’t let me finish. – She took a folded paper out of her pocket and then turned to Palermo. – Do you know how to read? Read it so that everyone can hear. – He looked at her sideways and then looked at the paper.

\- This thing says she was hired to teach CPR to every employee in the Bank of Spain, as a member of the Doctors Beyond Borders. Starting on the 20th March, until the 10th April. – He put the paper down. – You stupid girl. You might have just compromised the whole operation. They will suspect you going to one of Spain’s most important building out of nowhere!

\- Before you call anyone “stupid”, you should know the whole story. I’ve been visiting Spain on an annual basis for the past ten years. They won’t suspect me going there now.

\- So, all of this time you were risking your parents’ location?

\- If you are so curious about it, I always used a fake passport to go visit my parents. If the authorities check my official one, they will only find my travels between Spain, England, and the Middle East. For them, I have never been in Southeast Asia. Besides, maybe you don’t know that I still have family and friends in Spain, so I couldn’t just leave the country completely. At least, it wasn’t absolutely necessary for me to do it, like it was for my parents. Are you happy now? – Surprisingly, Palermo didn’t answer. It was Sergio that spoke.

\- Esperanza, do you have anything else to say?

\- Actually, I do. Where am I staying? I don’t know if I told you, but I’m staying here for two weeks before leaving for Spain.

\- She can stay in my room; I have a spare bed. – Tokyo shrugged. – I don’t mind.

\- Thank you, I wouldn’t want to stay with Mister “I like guys” here. – She was getting ready to leave the chapel we called classroom when Sergio said:

\- Wait, before you go. We can’t keep calling you by your name if you’re a part of this. You have to choose a city name. – She seemed to think for a moment, but I knew she had already thought of it. She smiled lightly.

\- Call me _Hanói_.


	2. Family Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things at lunch got a bit emotional because of children. Palermo and Hanói made their goal to annoy each other to exhaustion. A funny situation in the classroom led to a conversation about the birds and the bees between Hanói and Tokyo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, a shoutout to everyone that read the first part and is here with me again.
> 
> Second, the thank you's. To my sister, Sara, who didn't leave me alone in this journey. To the wonderful BlueTulips, for so good advice and inspiration. To Evendale and Corny_Cornflakes, for the uncouncious encoragement.  
> And, to you, the reader.
> 
> I do not own Money Heist nor its characters.

We were all sitting around the table having lunch and, at a certain point, people started talking about children.

\- So, Stockholm, how old is your Cincinnati? – My mother missed Paula and talking about other children was the only way she had of dealing with the feeling.

\- He’s turning 10 in three months.

\- And who’s taking care of him?

\- Our neighbours. They’re quite old and Cinci loves them. Who is Paula staying with?

\- Paula doesn’t need anyone to look after her, she’s already 18.

Bogotá turned the conversation to me.

\- Hanói, do have any children? These days anything is possible, so it wouldn’t surprise me if an assumed lesbian like you had a child…

\- I don’t. I think I could have adopted a child, but I spend too much time far away from home to be a good mother. – I decided to change the topic. – How did you decide the name, Stockholm?

\- Well, I wanted to name him “Cynthia”, because we thought it was a girl. They misread the ultrasound.

\- The clinic looked like an old garage; we never came back. – Denver completed.

\- At war, they took a bullet out of me in an old garage. – Helsinki said.

\- Really, love? You never told me. Where? – Nairobi looked surprised.

\- In my butt. Do you want to see the scar?

Everyone started shouting that they didn’t need that view, and Nairobi suggested:

\- Helsi, show them your pet. – When he hesitated, she continued. – Come on, they’re family.

The big man stood up, pulled up his shirt and, covering his whole abdomen, there was a giant bear. He physically looked like one, but I already knew him enough so that I was certain that inside, he was teddy bear instead.

\- Hey, big man! Do you want me to train your bear? I’m good at domesticating wild beasts, did you know?

No one missed the sexual tension between Helsinki and Palermo, but everyone decided to ignore it. Stockholm was the first to speak after Palermo’s intervention.

\- Lisbon, it’s your turn now. How did you name yours?

\- That’s actually a complicated story. I wasn’t married to Hanoi’s biological father when I was pregnant of her, nor when she was born. We had been dating for 2 years, I think, when I got pregnant. He dumped me the moment he found out. We were both in university, we had other priorities. Instead of having an abortion, I decided to tell him to fuck off and take care of things on my own. I named her after my grandmother. A bit old-fashioned, but it suits her.

\- Yeah, why not give the girl a name nobody else has, so that she suffers bullying in primary school.

\- I won’t apologise for naming you like I did. That’s what you became: my only hope in times of darkness. I’ve told you that, many times.

\- I know you have, that’s why I remember those words so well. You’re my hope too, _mama_. – She stopped for a moment, just looking at me, smiling.

\- As I was saying, I raised Hanói on my own. Of course, she knew who her father was and interacted with him because we worked in the same place and I didn’t have anyone to look after her, but most of the times, he didn’t even care about her. The real problem came when I fell for him again, she was 9. We ended up marrying after a few months and, two years later Paula was born. This time, things were different. He was always present; it was him who named Paula. It’s kind of obvious the difference between their names. To summarise the story, things didn’t go exactly well with the marriage and we got divorced when Hanói was 15.

Dad had been watching how she was handling it, keeping her hand tightly in his. After she finished, she shifted closer to him and he wrapped an arm around her. Everyone knew the story had more details, and some of them knew what they were, but no one forced her, and decided to change the subject, once again. This time, it was Tokyo.

\- Hey, Hanói! Tell me what the weirdest place was you’ve taken a bullet out of.

\- That’s a tricky one. I have to admit I have never taken a bullet out of someone’s butt. Let me think… there was this time when a guy had a small bullet stuck in his wrist. That zone has lots of blood vessels, so, besides of bleeding like a fountain, it would be really complicated to take that motherfucker out of there. Sometimes we had to evaluate the situation: if taking the bullet out caused more damage and discomfort than not doing do it, and if it weren’t dangerous to keep it there, we wouldn’t do it. That’s what happened in that case, but I don’t think it counts as an answer to your question. – She seemed to be processing my words, and then, she asked:

\- Would you do that to one of us?

\- As I said, it depends on the situation. The people I’m used to operate on were shot by people that didn’t really know how to shoot. They were just given guns to their hands and they were told to shoot the enemy. Besides, most of those who were shot in more dangerous places didn’t even make it to the hospital. That’s not the case here. Everyone that you will be confronting has had the proper training to do so and, most likely, they will be shooting to kill. In that situation, I will most certainly be forced to take the bullet out, even if it means, for example, that I’ll have to cut out part of an organ, too.

Everyone had their eyes focused somewhere else, thinking about what I said.

\- Denver, Stockholm, why Cincinnati? Why that name? – It was Denver who answered.

\- It’s tradition. He’s got a city name, like his family. _This_ family. – I saw dad smile proudly. He stood up and said:

\- I propose a toast. To our children. – He raised his glass. – To Cincinnati!

Stockholm was the second to raise from her seat.

\- To Paula! – Nairobi followed.

\- And last, but not least, - She stopped for a moment, as if thinking about what to say. – to the person who’s here to, literally, save our lives. To Hanói!

I was touched. If it wasn’t easy for me, I can’t imagine how it was for my mother, the actual ex-cop, to fit in a group of criminals. I was glad everyone was getting over that barrier.

After the cheers, with a melancholy voice, Tokyo said:

\- Guys. I want to thank you for what you’re doing. For leaving the comfort of your home, of your family, to be here. In Rio’s name and in mine. – Dad motioned everyone to sit down and started:

\- We’re doing this for Rio, Tokyo, but also for each and every one of us. Right now, the police think they can only win. Chasing us like animals and forcing us out from our holes, torturing us, violating every human right. It’s the same for them. If we hide like rats, they’ll strike again. One by one. There’s only one way to avoid it, we have to face them. – He waited a few seconds to let his words sink. – Listen. In the world, everything is weighed on a simple pair of scales: what you can win and what you can lose. And now, they think they have nothing to lose. When you think that, you get stronger. We’re going to show them how much they have to lose.

Palermo thought it was the perfect time to make one of his comments.

\- If I had to choose one thing about you that I totally didn’t miss in these fifteen years we haven’t seen each other, it would be your damned speeches. – Dad shot him an annoyed look.

\- Have it your way. Lunch time is over anyway. It’s time to go to the classroom. – _Let’s see the famous Professor in his natural habitat._

…

\- Once inside, the big question is: how will we communicate with each other? Palermo, if you don’t mind… - Before going to the front of the class, he came closer to the table beside his and whispered to me:

\- Watch and learn. – When he passed Helsinki, the latter decided to play with a laser.

\- Boom. You exploded. We’re all dead. – Palermo decided to start his own speech based on the little joke.

\- Laser sensors. Technology is wonderful, isn’t it? Internet and hidden or replicated IP addresses. With the money you have, we could buy a satellite in Kazakhstan. But that would only take us to one place: to shit. You fight technology with technology and in that, the government wins, but there’s something to which they can’t compete, time travel. – He went to pick up something that was covered by a dusty cloth. He dramatically took the cover off of it. It was an old radio. – 1941. Made in England. With these devices, the BBC broadcast from Great Britain to the whole world. It’s…

\- Shortwave. They started using it in World War II. – I interrupted. Everyone turned to me with surprised looks, but I didn’t care. It was worth it because of Palermo’s face.

\- I was going to say that before I got blatantly interrupted. – He seemed pretty annoyed. _Good. It’s good for you not to think you have more culture than everyone else just because you’re an engineer._ – No technology can inhibit such a frequency. We’ll talk through here.

\- But… Everyone would be able to hear us with that.

\- That’s right, Nairobi. Every moron with a walkie-talkie could listen to us. But the question is, would they be able to understand us? Absolutely not. – He picked up another device. – Computer encodings. In the broadcast, as well as in the reception. These encodings won’t be easy. We will put in 2300 layers. They can bring 200 million Chinese ballbusters, and they’d still never decode it. – He stopped a bit to listen to the monks’ choir. - We’ll have them there, erasing layer after layer. Cursing our mothers. A hundred desperate brains. Basically, a waste of the public funds, do you know why? Because every call we make, we will add 2300 more layers. A call and a code.

_Ok, I have to admit. He’s an asshole, but he’s a genius in his area._

…

Only my parents were in the classroom for the little break between classes we did every two hours. I was going to grab something in the classroom. When I was almost there, I couldn’t believe my ears.

\- Raquel, I can’t believe you! I have to teach in ten minutes!

\- Come on, it’s a demonstration of my love. Besides, you can’t say you didn’t like it…

\- That’s not the point. You’re going to humiliate me in front of the team. – I suddenly got curious and entered the classroom.

\- What did she do? Why the fuss? – One of his hands was covering part of his neck and he was slightly blushed. He blushed even more when he saw me. Mom was laughing. – Can you explain me what happened here?

Now she was laughing so hard she could barely talk.

\- We were, well… kissing, and I..., no you tell her. – He removed his hand from his neck, and I could finally see what was going on. A hickey was blooming in his skin. I couldn’t help but laugh, too.

\- Oh no, don’t you dare laugh at this! One can’t relax by making out without the woman thinking it’s ok to mark me like cattle!

\- Oh my God, you two are unbelievable! Couldn’t you just spend the break like normal people?

\- What? Kissing is normal, _sucking_ people’s skin to the point of a hickey, is not! – He said, annoyed and exasperated at the same time.

\- So, you were letting her, she went too far, and now you’re blaming her?

\- Yes, I’m blaming her! I didn’t ask for a hickey!

\- But you liked it? – I asked, mocking.

\- Of course I liked it! – The moment the words left his mouth and he understood what he had said, he started blushing even more, if possible.

\- I wish I had that recorded…I would make a lot of money asking your team who would pay the most for it.

\- If you’re just here to make me feel worse, you can leave.

\- Relax, _papa_ , I can help you.

\- Really? How?

\- You’ve lived with a woman for 10 years now, don’t you know there’s something called “make-up”? Give me 5 minutes.

I was heading to the bedroom I shared with Tokyo to get my make-up bag when I saw the team outside. I decided to make everything a bit better.

\- Hey guys! I’ve got a message. We’ve got 5 extra minutes of break. Before you ask me why, no, I don’t know why. – I was about to return to my mission when Palermo shouted:

\- I doubt that! The Professor wouldn’t give in to 5 minutes of class, especially when considering the emergency that we’re living! – _If I ever have to operate on this man, I’ll cut his balls off._

\- Listen, Palermo, I don’t care about what you think you know about the Professor, I’m just delivering a message, directly from him. Understood? – He rolled his eyes.

\- You’ve only been here for a few days and I’m already fed up with you! – I pretended I was surprised.

\- Oh, my goodness! Are you feeling well, don’t you have a headache? I think you’re finally developing grey mass. I was just going to say the same about you, annoying ass! – I didn’t give him a chance to answer and left. They should be asking themselves where I was by then.

Five minutes later, I was already in the classroom, getting ready to help him. He didn’t seem sure about it.

\- Are you sure it can cover it?

\- Yes, I’m very sure. I’ve done this lots of times to myself.

\- How many hickeys have you covered?

\- As I said, lots of them. Luna sometimes gets possessive. – He suddenly turned his head to mom.

\- Is that why you did this? Are you feeling the need to claim me? Are you feeling jealous about something? – She looked at him with a playful look.

\- No, I just wanted to mess with you. – She came closer and whispered in his ear. – It’s payback for last night.

Seeing him blush again, I said:

\- Would you please keep your couple issues inside your bedroom? I’ve witnessed enough.

_Later that night…_

When I entered the bedroom, I got curious about why I saw Tokyo with an ear on one of the walls.

\- What are you doing? – She raised a finger to her lips.

\- I’m listening.

\- What are you listening to? – She avoided answering me.

\- This is better than watching porn! Come here!

\- What the hell… - I suddenly realised what was going on without needing her answer. That was the wall we shared with my parent’s bedroom. – You’re a pervert.

\- Oh, come on, they won’t let me watch! He said he’s punishing her because she was a bad girl today. I didn’t believe the Professor to be a dirty talker!

\- Do you know you’re talking about my parents? That it’s the last thing I want to know? – She kept going on, completely ignoring what I said.

\- Aren’t they too old for that? I mean, can he even get it up?

\- TOKYO! What part of “I don’t want to hear it” didn’t you understand?

\- What about you? Do you know what it is to have sex with a boy? Or you’ve only been with girls? – I knew that she wouldn’t let go until I answered.

\- That’s a story for another time. Now please, go to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Anything you want to say, be my guest in the comments.  
> Kudos are always welcomed.


	3. The Birds and The Bees

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In today's chapter, we got Hanói's reaction to Palermo's "boom boom ciao", a serious conversation in the classroom between Hanói, the Professor and Lisboa and a "Truth or Dare match because why not?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I'm not dead (yet)! This around 4500-word long chapter drained me to my last ounce of energy, so I hope you like it.
> 
> Feel free to comment in any language other than English! 
> 
> First, a shoutout to everyone that read the first part and is here with me again.
> 
> Second, thank you's. To my sister, Sara, who didn't leave me alone on this journey. To the wonderful BlueTulips, for so good advice and inspiration. To Evendale and Corny_Cornflakes, for the unconscious encouragement.  
> And, to you, the reader.
> 
> This chapter is a tribute to Hannah Gadsby.
> 
> I do not own Money Heist nor its characters.

The next day, when we were having lunch, Tokyo brought the matter softly, but it was enough.

\- There must be rats in this monastery, Hanói and I heard some noises in the walls, didn’t we? – She looked at me, wondering whether I was going to join her or not. I decided to have a little bit of fun.

\- Yes, it sounded like the rats needed help, they were even calling for God.

If someone didn’t know what we were talking about, they did as soon as they saw my parents’ faces. They glanced at one another then turned their attention to their plates. Because of what he said next, Palermo looked like he wanted someone to slap him.

\- Gay sex is the best in the world, and do you know why? It’s quite obvious, actually. Because there are no women. – He started laughing. The women around the table either laughed sarcastically or shot him indignation looks. No one could tell who was more pissed off, me or Nairobi.

\- You aren’t homosexual, you’re misogynistic. How were you not born in a cauldron? – Before he answered her, it was me who said something.

\- I’m sure the Professor disagrees with your statement. Why don’t you let him expose his arguments?

If the eyes could kill, I would have died at that moment. The way my mother looked at me was scary, but it was worth it, at the same time. It was worth it to watch my father look more intensely into his papers and trying not to blush. Palermo just decided to ignore me, worrying that my mother could boil his penis in his sleep, and answered Nairobi.

\- No, my lady. Don’t mistake misogyny with biology. It’s facts, it’s simple. – My mother was now raising him an eyebrow. – We men need to get rid of our poison. Every few hours, we need to _boom_. Later, we reject the body that we spilt on. It doesn’t matter which, we can’t help but reject it. Then we say _ciao_. – Even from across the table, I could notice my father’s exasperation. – _Boom, boom, ciao_. Homosexual sex. – We couldn’t avoid saying it at the same time:

\- Sex between women is also homosexual. – Dad hadn’t looked up from his papers, but when he heard me say it too, he turned his head abruptly and I could see a hint of a smile in his face. Palermo, as always, ignored and kept going.

\- Boom, boom, ciao. Two men meet and they relieve each other. They don’t even know each other’s names. That’s wonderful. – With that, Tokyo snapped:

\- Do you know what’s really wonderful? The fantastic fucks women can enjoy. – My mother completed:

\- And we can do it ten times in a row, or more… Having multiple orgasms.

\- We come in hours, not in five seconds. – Everyone laughed because of Nairobi’s statement, even if mocking, like Palermo.

\- I’m not saying the All-Mighty didn’t give you the possibility of feeling pleasure, which would be misogynistic. I’m simply saying that you don’t need it. – Nairobi and Stockholm were looking at each other, silently asking: “What the heck is this dude saying?” and Denver’s face looked like an interrogation mark. – It’s not as organic a need as it is for men. Let me explain myself. The world is full of saunas where men meet and relieve each other. Public parks, public toilets, where we find each other and do the deed. It’s a seminal altruism. Where are those saunas for women?

\- We don’t need them.

\- You don’t need them?

\- Of course not, - I intervened again. – not a single woman needs another person to have pleasure. Sometimes other people want to give us a hand. We only need hands.

\- As I said, you don’t have them. Where are the public toilets where you rub your tits? They don’t exist. I’m going to tell you why, although I know it’s controversial. That’s because female sex is conditioned by procreation. – For a moment, I was afraid I would completely ruin my sight when I rolled my eyes really hard. – In some way or another, you’re looking for a man to exchange genes with. To form a family, which is revolting. You have too many things in your heads. We men only think about one thing, to ejaculate. That’s why we do: _boom, boom, ciao_.

\- Look, your theory is fucking shit, but it has rhythm. – As soon as Denver started dancing to the sound of Palermo’s bullshit, the women started leaving the table.

\- Do you see? They can’t stand that I’m right. – I turned my head back and said:

\- No, you’re just an asshole, and not one of those someone would find pretty.

Later that day, after the end of the class, my parents asked me to stay a little longer.

\- What do you need?

\- We need to tell you something and we’re sure you’re not going to like it.

\- As long as you don’t tell me I have to kiss Palermo, I’m sure I can take it.

\- It’s not that simple. We’ve talked and realised that the safest way for you to join us after the heist is if we kidnap you.

\- I’m afraid I don’t follow.

\- When you leave this monastery, you’ll go to Spain on a supposedly work trip, as we agreed. You need to make it look like your previous trips.

\- Yes, I know that.

\- We know you do, but we’ll have to make up a good story. We’re going to make them believe that we went to the Bank of Spain specifically because you were there. Your mother suspects that the lead inspector will be… for God’s sake, how do I tell you this?

\- Just say it, what’s the matter?

\- Raquel, help me, please. – She waited a few seconds to say:

\- Esperanza, the lead inspector will most probably be Alicia.

\- Even better, I’ll get to see my godmother again. The look they gave each other when they heard my words explained everything.

\- Are you telling me that _Nina_ is the one torturing Anibal Cortés? - I flexed my fingers like I always did when I could feel the anger rising inside me, the feeling of betrayal I had felt 10 years before resurfacing with all its might. My breathing was accelerating. My mother clearly sensed it.

\- Esperanza, look at me! Whatever you’re feeling, whatever you’re thinking, we got you, you don’t have to face it alone. We have your back, always. Come back to me, please. - I was so focused on keeping my emotions under control that I didn’t hear what she first said, but as my breathing slowed down, her words started sinking in and I slowly opened my eyes. She was slowly walking in my direction, uncertain of what would trigger me even more or what could calm me down.

\- So, my godmother is now torturing a man 2 years older than me and is going to try to kill you. What does it matter for this conversation?

\- One of the first things a negotiator does in a situation like this is to analyse the list of hostages to see if there is someone that might be important to the kidnappers. They are obviously going to notice the governor, but when Alicia sees your name, she might think you’re also the reason everything is happening, besides Rio. If she does, we’ll encourage that idea. If she doesn’t, we’ll implicitly say it. They need to think that we haven’t seen each other since I left to find Sergio. If you support that idea visiting old friends or even my old precinct, it would be good.

\- If you succeed with that plan, they will expose the fact that you kidnapped someone beyond the limits of the heist, and it will end with the Dalís' fame of Robin Hoods. You will become the villains. I can’t let you do that.

\- It doesn’t matter if we become villains. If you leave that bank on your own and meet us afterwards, you’ll become a criminal, you’ll never be able to exercise your job again. – My father seemed even offended that I would think they’d leave me jobless.

\- Don’t you know I’m already a criminal? I’ve been one for 10 years, since the moment my mother asked me to not turn you in. Remember? When you thought you were Christian Grey and tied her to the ceiling of your hangar with a chain?

\- In my defence, she tied me to a ceiling first, but that’s not what matters here…

\- Oh, right, I forgot you two had a fantasy with bondage. 

-…Besides letting you be free, knowing that you were going to be kidnapped would emotionalise the Inspector, making her irrational and rushed.

\- So, this is not about my job nor my freedom. It’s about destabilising the enemy and using me for it. You know what, besides pissing me off, that plan is shit. Not only you’d ruin the reputation of the gang, that’s crucial for the escape plan, as you know, but you also have no idea if she still cares about me. If I recall correctly, the last time we saw each other was 5 years ago.

\- Alicia loved you as if you were her own daughter. We basically raised you together.

\- Don’t you think I remember? But you know what? She has a child of her own.

Their faces showed that they didn’t really know what I was talking about.

\- Didn’t you know? You lived for 10 years in paradise and didn’t remember even once to check on your ex-lover?

\- We stopped talking when I got engaged with Alberto. She asked me to stay away, and I did. I would never violate her privacy like that.

\- Well then, let’s say that you missed out a lot. Three years after the Royal Mint, she gave birth to a boy. Alejandro is his name. He has her hair and uncle Germán’s eyes. Do you want to know what happened to him? Surely you don’t want to, but I’ll tell you. He got cancer and died two months before the child was born. _Nina_ has been raising that boy on her own for the last 7 years. The only difference between you two is that she doesn’t have someone by her side, supporting her with this, as you did. They thought the depression she developed was just post-birth, but tests revealed that it had appeared much earlier, and she still had it when we talked, two years after the birth. So, shame on you two, but mostly you, _mama_ , for thinking she’s doing all of this simply because she’s a bad person when you knew her! She’s hurting, she’s practically dead inside. She needs help and here you are, planning to destabilise her emotionally. That’s why I said the plan wouldn’t work, you can’t kill someone who’s already buried. – There was a pause.

\- About what you said earlier, you’re mistaken. The main goal of the plan was to just not get you any trouble after the end of heist. This is for you and only for you. At least, the matter with the Inspector would merely be a side-effect, not the main cause. Understood?

\- Don’t try to pretend you didn’t say it, I heard you. And don’t talk to me while I still remember this, I’m seriously disappointed. – I turned around and left the classroom.

Time seems to pass slower when you’re isolated from the world. On my last night in the monastery, Nairobi came to the chamber I shared with Tokyo with a bottle of whiskey.

\- Tomorrow’s the football match. Do you know what this means? It’s time to get totally wasted! – She was about to open the bottle and take a sip when Tokyo said:

\- Wait! Are we really going to waste such a fine bottle from Berlin’s collection just like that? This is asking for a game. Truth or Dare is my proposal.

\- I’m in. Hanói, what do you say?

\- I’m sorry, but I don’t drink.

\- You what? You must be kidding. – I shook my head. – Why the hell not?

\- If you had seen as many ruined livers as I have because of alcohol, you wouldn’t drink too.

\- But that’s such a sad life! Haven’t you smoke anything? Pot, regular cigarettes? Have you ever been high?

\- Are you really asking that question? I went to university in England, of course, I’ve been high!

\- And can’t you make an exception for us? Just to play the game.

\- Don’t we need more than 3 people to play?

\- That’s not a problem. I’ll bring Stockholm.

She came back 5 minutes later, but not only Stockholm was with her. My parents walked in right behind her. I started frowning.

\- What are you two doing here? – My mother answered first.

\- I heard you were going to drink and play, so here am I. – Then, I raised an eyebrow at him.

\- I’m just here to make sure that your mother doesn’t drink too much. Or that no one drinks too much.

\- But don’t you want to play, Professor?

\- I’m sorry, but I’m not a fan of drinking games, nor drinking in general.

\- We have water for you two who are too good for drinking games.

5 minutes later we were in the common room, everyone else had already gone to bed.

\- So, who’s starting? – Nairobi asked. Tokyo answered.

\- I’ll do it. I’ve been wanting to know about a story for a while now. Hanói, truth or dare? – I rolled my eyes.

\- You’re never going to let it go, are you?

\- You know I won’t.

\- Fine, truth. – She smiled like a lioness about to catch her prey.

\- Did you ever sleep with a boy? If you did, tell us the story.

\- Yes, I did. – My mother’s face was a mixture of indignation and surprise.

\- How do I not know about this?

\- Just like I don’t want to know the details about your sex life, although I encouraged you to have one, I assumed you wouldn’t want to know about mine.

\- I would certainly want to know about something as important as that!

\- Then let me tell the story. Any question you might have, ask them at the end. – I felt all their eyes on me. – There was this boy in my class, Diego, - My mother’s eyes widened and she even opened her mouth, but when she felt my father’s hand on her arm, she restrained herself. – You would never see him surrounded by people, and girls even less. On the other hand, he would always have a book with him, mostly non-fictional. After finishing the 9th year, we started talking. I discovered that he had a secret passion for basketball but could never play because he had a muscle problem. It didn’t take long for us to start dating. It was just a summer thing, really. One day, at the beginning of September, we were at my house, alone, and it happened.

\- Then, what are you? You say you’re a lesbian, but you just said you had sex with a boy. I’m confused. – Tokyo didn’t seem to be that curious.

\- Don’t be. I’m a lesbian who had sex with a boy. That was the day I had the confirmation about my sexuality.

\- It makes sense. She felt like she needed to be with a boy to understand that she liked girls.

\- Thanks, _papa_. But I wasn’t the only one to realise an important thing that day. Diego turned out to be gay, too.

\- Did he tell you about any crush that he had?

\- Actually, he did. You might remember Pablo Holgado.

\- The athlete? – Nairobi and Tokyo said at the same time.

\- Yeah, that’s him, and there’s more. Pablo is my wife’s twin brother.

\- What? Really? Does she look like him?

\- Not really, no. – After a few seconds of silence, my mother asked:

\- May I ask you my questions now? – I chuckled.

\- Sure, go ahead.

\- Did I hear it right? Was Diego the first person you had sex with? The nerdy one?

\- Yes, _mama_ , you heard it right.

\- Excuse me, _Lisbon_ , do you have anything against “nerdy ones”?

\- I don’t know why you’re asking that, _Professor_. You know better than anyone else that the nerdy ones attract me the most. I just didn’t have the idea that my eldest would be attracted to them too. Luna is clearly not like that; she’s the sociable one, she practices Gymnastics, she was a cheerleader.

\- Except, _mama_ , you’re wrong. I didn’t feel attracted to him, not really, although I told myself that I did. And I think the same happened to him. I guess we wanted to be normal. It’s all part of the internalised shame that society puts people through. I grew up hearing that homosexuality was a sin, that gays would all burn in hell. I’m not particularly religious, but when I reached the age when I started to discover myself, I was already homophobic without realising it. We felt ashamed of ourselves, of what we felt. It took us 3 months to stop lying to ourselves and assume what we were to each other.

\- And what happened after that?

\- We stopped dating, obviously, but we were still friends and confided with each other a lot. Now, enough about me. I think it’s my turn to ask, isn’t it?

\- You were asked, it’s your turn to ask.

And I would have if my mother had been satisfied.

\- Wait right there! I have one more question for you, young lady!

\- What are you so curious about? Looks like you don’t know what sex is!

\- It’s not about that! What I want to know is: where did you… exactly?

\- Uh… let me think… Your bed.

\- Why the fuck did you go to my bed?

\- It was hell more comfortable.

\- Your sister slept in that bed! How disrespectful of you!

\- What do you want me to tell you? I was fifteen, thinking I was defying the system by having sex on my mother’s bed, give me a rest. Now, enough about me. Professor, how many women in this room flirted with you?

\- You didn’t even ask if I wanted truth!

\- Does it matter? I know you wouldn’t say “dare”, so… spill it. – He hesitated.

\- My answer depends on what you consider “flirting”. On one hand, you have Nairobi and Tokyo that, either with words or actions, tried to get me to sleep with them.

\- Professor! You didn’t have to expose it like that! – Nairobi said.

\- No offence, but it was quite obvious that I’d be talking about you two. Hanói and I are father and daughter, so she wasn’t an option, and Stockholm has been with Denver since we met, so she just wouldn’t. As I was saying, on the other hand, you have Lisbon who, on our first date, asked me to look at her from under the table. – I repeated the question my mother had asked earlier.

\- How do I not know about this?

\- We never told you because you’d use it against us on your first chance!

\- Can’t say it’s not true, but it’s such a fun story to tell!

\- Is it? Is it funny to hear that your mother, on our first date, forced me to show her the place where I lived under gunpoint just because her jealous colleague told her I was suspicious? – I turned to Nairobi.

\- Looks like someone had that trapped in his chest for a long time… - My mother lost no time to correct me.

\- That’s where you’re wrong. Your father only gets annoyed with the mention of this because, in that night, he found himself aroused by something he definitely shouldn’t. – He lowered his shoulders in defeat.

\- You couldn’t help yourself, could you?

\- You get to mention one of the most embarrassing moments in my life, I get to expose you. It’s only fair. – There were a few seconds of silence before Tokyo said:

\- No offence Lisbon, but your flirting skills are a bit shitty…

\- You’re really the one to talk! At least mine worked, didn’t they?

\- Hey, no need to get defensive! You’ve got your man, and no one’s taking him away from you.

\- Anyone who tries is in trouble… - She had a dreamy smile when she turned her head to face him. The corners of his mouth turned upwards right before he left a peck on her lips. Then, he whispered:

\- I’m so sorry, but it’s my turn. Truth or dare, Lisbon?

\- You didn’t do that… - He merely shrugged.

– Dare!

He looked around as if thinking about what to say.

\- I dare you to… show everyone… your tattoo.

She inhaled deeply and muttered under her breath:

\- You’re lucky I’m in a good mood today. – She started unbuttoning her long-sleeved shirt, exposing the white tank top she was wearing underneath. She shrugged out of it and turned her left side to the group. I already knew what it was, I had seen it all my life. Four lines of text written in her arm, just below her shoulder.

> _Amor é fogo que arde sem se ver,_
> 
> _é ferida que dói, e não se sente;_
> 
> _é um contentamento descontente,_
> 
> _é dor que desatina sem doer._

\- That’s Portuguese, isn’t it? – Stockholm asked.

\- Yes, it’s the first stanza of a Portuguese poem. It talks about the duality of love. About how love can be something that fills you and, at the same time, which destroys you.

\- When did you do it?

\- Hanói was a new-born, so it was more or less 27 years ago, and initially, it referred to maternal love. By the end of the Royal Mint heist, it gained a new meaning. – Tokyo rolled her eyes.

\- You guys don’t get tired of that? Constantly showing affection, love, commitment to each other, how boring.

\- That’s what people who care for each other do. You could try it someday, Tokyo, it would be good for you. – My mother spat. They stared into each other’s eyes for several moments, then mom inhaled deeply.

– My turn. Stockholm, truth or dare?

\- Dare.

\- Hum, how about… you show us some of Denver’s dance moves?

\- That’s going to be a bit complicated, give me a minute, I’m not twenty anymore. – She put on her jacket and stretched. – This is going to be harder without music, but I’ll try. She turned her back to us and breathed in deeply. She raised her arms with her index fingers pointing up in an abrupt move. Planting one foot on the floor, she made a 180 degree turn with the other swiftly. After waving her arms back and forth, she started unzipping the jacket, with her shoulders lowering and raising alternatively, one of her feet tapping the floor. A few more moves and she stopped, a little breathless, smiling shyly.

\- I can’t say I’m as good as him, but I still know somethings. Hanói, truth or dare?

\- Hey! Why me again? Nairobi and Tokyo haven’t played yet!

\- Sorry, I didn’t remember. Now I already said your name, so it’s you.

\- Says who?

\- The Rule’s book.

\- I didn’t know Truth or Dare had a rule’s book.

\- It does. Now answer: truth or dare?

\- Fuck all of you. Truth.

\- You know you’ll have to choose Dare sometime, don’t you?

\- I’d rather do it as late as possible.

\- Come on, what’s life without a little adventure?

\- I’m currently channelling all my sense of adventure, which isn’t that much, into the crimes I’m about to commit. – That’s where Tokyo burst into the conversation:

\- Why do you always have an answer ready on the tip of your tongue?

\- That’s called neurodiversity. My brain doesn’t work the same way most people’s do. It’s in my nature, I anticipate the most probable responses from the people I’m talking to, generating an answer for each of them. I find it particularly distressing when I’m not able to predict what the other person is going to say. Among other things. – Breaking the silence that had settled, Nairobi asked:

\- When did you find out? – I sighed. - Only 3 years ago. Let me explain. No doctor ever found it strange to hear that a six-year-old would rather read books than play hide and seek with her schoolmates. No one ever found it strange when I almost didn’t show any signs of empathy. How hard it was for me to release a single tear. When I reached my sixteen years and punched a classmate in the face because of something he had said, they diagnosed me with problems managing my anger. They prescribed me some tranquillizers and sent me to therapy. Things only changed when I turned 24 and started seeing another psychiatrist. The second he looked at my medical report he knew there had been a mistake. He ran a few tests and reached the conclusion I was neurodiverse.

I only noticed I was clenching my fists when I stopped talking and my mother took my hands between hers. The calm in her eyes had a soothing effect on me. I breathed deeply and said:

\- Stockholm, you didn’t get to ask me anything.

\- I think that that was worth my question, there’s no need.

\- Thanks. Now, if you excuse me, it’s already late and I need to leave before sunrise. I’m going to sleep.

I got up and left the room. I crossed the hallway and finished preparing everything I needed for the next day. I put the clothes I would wear on the chair next to my bed. I tucked myself inside the linen sheets and laid on my left side. One minute later, I heard someone knock on the door.

\- Yes? – My father’s voice answered me.

\- Esperanza, it’s me, may I come in?

\- Yeah.

– He opened the door only enough for him to be able to get in, then closed it. He approached the bed and kneeled so that our heads were at the same height, then whispered:

\- Are you ok? – He brushed his thumb on my cheek.

\- Yes, _papa_ , I’m only tired. - Look, I just wanted to tell you something. Be careful, ok?

\- There’s no need to worry. Everything will be fine; I know what I’m doing.

\- You know that doesn’t matter. You’re my daughter, I’ll worry about you until the day I die. I love you so much, _mi hija_.

\- I love you too, _papa_.

\- Sleep well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Anything you want to say, be my guest in the comments.  
> Kudos are always welcomed.  
> Sorry, Mónica, for making Raquel steal your line.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Anything you want to say, be my guest in the comments.  
> Kudos are always welcomed.


End file.
